What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
08.06.2025 02:24
So whats the point in blame.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
How to use Google's AI-powered NotebookLM — 5 tips to get started - Tom's Guide
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
(And it was in our own minds.)
I said to her
10 Must-See Movies at the 2025 Tribeca Festival - IndieWire
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Why is Taylor Swift re-recording her albums?
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
My family never makes their pension either.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Dopamine Neurons Map Future Rewards, Not Just Past Ones - Neuroscience News
I couldn’t, believe it.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
If a cat is feminine in German, what article do you give to a male cat?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Im dying but, im not bitter.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
What are women's true thoughts and feelings on bestiality?
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Im still living with it.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Video: Do You Even Need A Pro Controller For The Switch 2? - Nintendo Life
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
What are the top 5 star Michelin restaurants near Pompano Beach, Florida?
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Can I know a love story of a medical student?
Why did i forgive my father ?
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Yankees will have to find ninth-inning serenity in Luke Weaver’s absence - New York Post
All the time i was locked up.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Heroes of the Storm Live Patch Notes - June 2, 2025 - Blizzard News
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Another Bodybuilder Just Died a Horrible Death - futurism.com
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I was scared of men, in general
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I was seconnd youngest,
What did i know ?
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I waited trembling.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But it wasn’t much.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
But, we were locked up after school.
He knew the spot.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I was very sick at this time too.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
My mum and dad in the seventies!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
This is soul school!.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I never cut or harmed myself..
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Was to survive, this bastard.
So, i spoilt her more .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I have no regrets .
Where the ultimate outsiders.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
And i lived it daily.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Comes on , in middle age.
One cannot live in the past .
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
We were not on the streets..
As i do to all so called friends.?
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
She married twice! .
Ive learnt so much.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I think the readers, may guess!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Put me off passion for life!!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I was 9 years of age.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
We all went to grammer schools
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
She wouldn,t have been !
She found it foreign!.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I write beautiful poetry .
Would this be the day?
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I don,t even have a pension.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
When she asked me how she looked .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Especially a lifetime of it.
My life is so biszare .
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I will be 64.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
He resisted the act ,that day.
She loved him until the end.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
But ive been too sick for many years..
Who then, do I blame.?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
She was in good health!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
It was going to be , some day.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.